I actually can’t believe it but, yes, I have got a job!
This is such an absolutely massive thing for me as I had wondered if I would ever work again. Not because I didn’t want to but just because I didn’t think I could ever muster up the courage to put myself out there again, to be honest I didn’t think I was even worth being paid to do anything my confidence was that low.
I have in the past had feelings of self-doubt but I had been dealing with them and growing in confidence. When we first got married and I moved to London I was applying for numerous jobs and I was getting good responses from interviews but never quite getting the job. I then fell pregnant with Isabella and had to put my career ambitions aside, I was actually offered a job when I was four months pregnant but couldn’t accept as I really didn’t feel that well being pregnant so I just continued with my temping job.
After I had given birth to Isabella I was in a bit of a state, looking back I remember I could barely sit down for Christmas dinner the year Isabella was born (she was born in October). I found everything a struggle, Isabella was a demanding baby and me being me I was determined to breast feed her. I am so glad now that I did but those first few months were almost like being tortured every time she wanted a feed; the only way I can describe the feeling was as if someone was drawing a sword out from my chest the whole time she was feeding. Needless to say I was completely knocked back, I felt so unsure of my own body and so unable to cope with my baby and felt such a failure.
It has taken me nearly four years and a lot of help from my wonderful husband as well as my mentor Trudy but I am finally getting there!
‘What job have you got?’ I hear you ask…..I now work in a pub!
For those who know me they will think this is such an odd choice, I get drunk of 1/2 pint shandy and I desperately need my sleep. But, it works and I actually haven’t felt this happy and satisfied in a very long time. I do two evening shifts on the quietest days of the week, for me this job is so much more than the money I earn, it is giving me a huge boost of confidence, twice a week, what more could I want!
Has having had kids knocked your confidence? Even if you haven’t had kids how do you cope with feelings of self-doubt? Do you have any confidence boosting tricks?
PS. I will get a picture of myself working tonight if I can – photographic evidence 🙂