That is how I felt this morning, not enough sleep but hey, it’s the holidays, it was sunny so I opened up the back door so we were in and out of the garden in our pjs. Such a super feeling. The morning was wearing on and like I said I wasn’t dressed so I popped upstairs, quick sink-wash and throw some clothes on. I could hear the kids in the garden laughing which made me so happy, what a lovely start to the day.
I was upstairs five minutes, maybe ten; when I came down I found the kids had managed to climb up and get a dozen eggs off the side in the kitchen and were throwing them at each other and on the path in the garden. I just couldn’t believe it, I was fuming! I couldn’t be near them as I just thought I was going to lose the plot so I sat on the front door step and called my husband. I know this sounds very extreme but I didn’t trust myself in the same room as them. I wouldn’t say that I am the most patient person but I can usually keep my cool as I know the kids are just kids but not having had the best nights sleep I was already at a disadvantage and to save any hysterical screaming and bottom smacking I had to get out of the situation.
I am ashamed at myself now and can actually see the funny side and can imagine the kids had a great time throwing the eggs but I was cross. So cross that I put the telly on for the rest of the day and retreated into the cyber world in my computer. Days like these really make me question my decision to be a stay at home mum and whether I am cut out for another couple of years of this. I am cross because my confidence is low and I feel like I am going to struggle to put myself out there when it comes to getting a proper job. I am cross because I know I am capable and wish I had kept a part-time job after I had the kids.
Do you ever question your abilities to be a good mum? If you are a stay at home mum do you wish you worked? If you do work do you wish you got to stay at home a bit more?
I am going to bed early tonight, tomorrow is a new day.
PS. Who couldn’t love these two tatty heads?